Getting No Support From Family for Jaw Surgery

When I made the decision to correct my jaws, I did not have a single person in my family who supported the idea. In fact, my parents and elder sister were very against the idea. Over time, they realised I was going to do it with or without their blessing so their negative remarks became less frequent.

My mother was the most negative and vocal about it. She would anger me by telling people that I am crazy for wanting to go for surgery. Imagine bumping into a neighbour or sharing a meal with a family friend and having your mother tell them that. It drove me up the wall!

She did that for heaven knows what reason and I lost my temper quite a few times in front of her and her friends. She was clearly trying to manipulate me with guilt and shame. It took a lot of angry outbursts from me to get her to stop that negative behaviour of hers.

I remember telling my mother to shut her mouth if she doesn’t support it. I told her there is nothing she can do to change my mind. She can go around telling everyone she knows about how she thinks I am crazy for wanting to get jaw surgery and it wouldn’t change a thing.

My Dad and elder sister were less extreme but they had their way of winding me up about this surgery of mine. My Dad’s main concern was he felt like he couldn’t bear to see me in pain after surgery and it would cause him to feel anxious and worried. He did try to talk me out of it but failed. My sister tried to do the same and failed too.

When I had my braces done, I didn’t even let my family know about it because I knew they wouldn’t have anything nice to say. I still remember their awkward expressions when they first saw me with braces on!

I believe they knew they couldn’t stop me but felt they had to try. I also believe they would have showed me a lot of support and encouragement if I chose not to do the surgery.

I do not believe that they supported my decision to undergo corrective jaw surgery because of the way they behaved. They can tell me crap like “I support you whatever your decision is” but their body language was showing clear signs of disapproval. You can smell the BS in their words from a mile away. They simply gave up trying to change my mind.

To not listen to one’s parents is often seen as unfilial behaviour in a Chinese family. The time before my double jaw surgery was a lonely and difficult one man journey but I have no regrets. I made the decision for my own happiness and my family will just have to deal with it whether they like it or not.